A close, intimate relationship develops an expected level of sexuality. There are no rules about how this occurs or with what frequency. As long as both partners are comfortable with what does occur, when it occurs and the frequency of the occurrence, the relationship is sexually satisfying. Sexual contact is an intimate form of communication. All too often however, as with other forms of communication, there are mixed and missed messages and communication is lost and frustrating.

Sex therapy addresses the mixed communications, clarifying with the couple each individual’s needs and means of expression. There are 3 major areas where clarification is paramount.

1. ATTITUDES

Attitudes, more than acts, affect sexual interaction. We learn attitudes regarding sexuality from a number of sources in society, including family, school and media. Attitudes are influenced by our feelings and contribute to the formation of beliefs and in turn, beliefs impact attitudes. Attitudes and beliefs affect the formation of values. Sexuality is intricately connected with attitudes, beliefs and values.

2. BEHAVIOURS

The word behaviours refers to what a person actually does sexually. This includes how they display affection, how and where they touch, and how they involve the senses. Behaviours also includes patterns of sexual initiation, position, and variety. Behaviours before, during and after intercourse all play a part in the interaction and the level of mutual satisfaction.

3. COMMUNICATION

Communication is a vital ingredient for positive sexual functioning. Communication is both verbal and non-verbal in nature. How each partner communicates interest in the other, how they communicate interest in entering a sexual situation, and how they communicate what they like giving and receiving as part of their love-making, are all important to positive sexual relationships. Communication, as with behaviours, involves the time before, during and after intercourse.

In sex therapy, each of these areas are explored in a safe, non-physical environment. Meanings, messages, behaviours and attitudes are openly discussed and clarified. Couples are often given exercises to carry out at home either individually or together. As with any form of communication, it is only effective if the message received is the same as the message sent. Sex therapy will help you accomplish this and enrich your relationship.